2008? More like 200GR8! Sort of.
It has been brought to my attention that this is the only blog on the internet that didn’t do a recap or best of 2008 and since I need to make this Saturday night slightly less sad slash stop being yelled at for not updating, I have decided to do a belated 2008 post. And since I’m lazy and sleepy, I’m doing it off the top of my head. So here we go: a recap of the best and worst of 2008 in no particular order and I’ll leave it to you to decide what’s what.
1. Miley Cyrus exists: Well, that’s a questionable statement since her persona of Hannah Montana is so intertwined with real life. I mean really, how do I file these songs on my ipod? Under Hannah Montana? Miley Cyrus? Shmilers? Slutty High Schooler? I’ll have to go with the last one because with the Vanity Fair scandal and sort of hot, sort of gay older boyfriend, it’s pretty clear that Miley Cyrus is a hussy. And not in the good, Livvy kind of way.
2. Britney’s comeback: We’ve all been blinded by the horror that has become Britney Spears’ life so that any musical effort from her is like an X-Tina-mas miracle. Thus, we’re willing to overlook the fact that nearly all her new songs just repeat single words over and over again because Britney probably can’t remember lyrics. And the fact that her choreography hasn’t been up to par. And the fact that paying 150-350 dollars for her comeback tour when we don’t even know if she’ll make it to the shows is embarrassing. However, I love “Circus” the song so much and the fact that I’ll be going to that tour right before my birthday so I don’t even care about anything else.
3. Britney’s craziness: The image of Britney strapped on a gurney is actually really traumatic for me. And I’d rather not discuss it other than to say this is part of the reason why the comeback is what it is: necessary. And I know, I’m part of the problem by blogging about it but still…please don’t die, ilu.
Click le cut!
4. Barack Obama wins the election: I know, not really celebrity news per se but once you have beach pictures taken of you, you can start to consider yourself a celebrity. Of the non-political sort. Plus it’d be kind of awkward to completely ignore that this happened.
5. Lindsay’s a lez: With Samantha Ronson, in case you’ve just discovered the internetz. But, oh, right, this isn’t news. Not for me since I called it a year ago and not for the media since no one seemed to care at all. But you know, it’s probably a good thing that this “scandal” didn’t detract from what really mattered in ‘08: Lindsay’s legging line. How’s THAT for alliteration?
6. Oliver Puppy arrives: For the sake of my own security, I didn’t put Oliver’s real name even though I’ve probably written it billions of times on the blog already. Point is, my parents got a puppy in ‘08. Named after ME. And you know what they say: first come dogs, then comes Hollywood, and THEN, street names in New Jersey. None of which changes the fact that Sammy is still number 1 in my heart and so perfect and adorable. Yes, I’m using my blog as some sort of vehicle for my dogs’ fame…deal with it.
I know a lot more happened in 2008 up to and including Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro’s deaths, Ashlee Simpson’s baby, Jennifer Aniston’s response to Brangelina’s shittiness, and so on. But I’ll be honest: I don’t care about most of these other things with the exception of the people who died and I’m not going to make fun of them so why would I write about it? So, there. To make up for lost time, the world’s longest blog post. Okay, 2009, I’m ready for my closeup!
